Oct 11, 2013
Spend more time for yourself!
In today's constantly connected world, finding solitude has become a lost art. In fact, Western culture tends to equate a desire for solitude with people who are lonely, sad, or have antisocial tendencies. But seeking solitude can actually be quite healthy. In fact, there are many physical and psychological benefits to spending time alone.
You may need to plan your own leisure time, away from the family. Whether it is an evening out weekly, or a fishing trip a couple of times a year, you need to plan to do things that you can anticipate. You need to be able to look forward to things that will take the pressure off.
Develop a long-range plan to do the things you want to do. Plan trips and vacations for enough ahead of time that you can accumulate the money in advance. Pay all cash and see how much more fun it is to spend what you have saved than to worry about how you will pay for your fun after the fact.
Benefits of Seeking Solitude
1. Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind. Constantly being "on" doesn't give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself. Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. It's an opportunity to revitalize your mind and body at the same time.
Its helps to improve concentration and increase productivity. When you remove as many distractions and interruptions as you can from your day, you are better able to concentrate, which will help you get more work done in a shorter amount of time.
3. Solitude gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice. When you're a part of a group, you're more likely to go along with what the group is doing or thinking, which isn't always the actions you would take or the decisions you would make if you were on your own.
4. Solitude provides time for you to think deeply. Day to day responsibilities and commitments can make your to-do list seem as if it has no end. This constant motion prevents you from engaging in deep thought, which inhibits creativity and lessens productivity.
5. Solitude helps you work through problems more effectively. It's hard to think of effective solutions to problems when you're distracted by incoming information, regardless of whether that information is electronic or human.
6. Solitude can enhance the quality of your relationships with others. By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you're more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around. You also may come to appreciate your relationships more after you've spent some time alone.
Despite knowing these benefits, it can be a challenge to find time alone in a world that seems to never sleep.
Here are a few ideas to help you find more time to spend with yourself.
♦ Disconnect. Set aside some time each day to unplug from all the ways you connect with others. Turn off your cell phone, Turn off your Internet. Turn off your TV. If you use your computer to create, such as writing, then write without all the bells, dings, and beeps that come along with being connected to the Internet. You'll be amazed at how much more you can get done when you're not distracted.
♦ Get Up or Get In Early. Wake up a half hour or an hour earlier than everyone else in your house and use that time to create, produce, problem solve, meditate, or whatever makes you happy. This strategy also works if you can get to work before everyone else arrives and the phones begin to ring.
♦ Close Your Door. It's simple, but can be very effective. Solitude also suffers when subjected to interruptions. Yet, we’ve built a world based on open door policies and technological servitude. Neither allow for privacy or full essence of being. Our lives our defined by schedules, work and relationships. All of which are prone to intermittent and unplanned interruptions, putting us at their mercy. No one likes feeling as if their life is not their own. This makes us edgy, irritable and resentful.
We all suffer when subjected to constant interruptions. Extroverts burnout from the lack of progress made. Electronic leashes (phones) and tight schedules keep them from leisurely socializing. Introverts pay an energy price because we are deep concentrators. We dive deep into our work, dreams, daydreaming, relationships and thoughts. Our focus heightens, our breathing slows, we immerse in the flow of freedom. Pulling us out of these depths is no easy feat. Returning to the sweet sacredness we were immersed in before the interruption is like a pebble thrown into a calm pond. It takes a while for the ripples to subside and smoothness to return. Put up the "sign" and it works like a charm.
♦ Use Your Lunch Time. Don't spend your lunch time working at your desk. Don't spend it running errands. And if you regularly go out to lunch, don't think that it always has to be with others. Once a week or even just a couple of times a month, commit to spending lunch with yourself. Walk. Sit in the sun outside. Go to a park and eat. Enjoy the time you have alone.
♦ Schedule solitude. Literally. Mark off time in your day planner or calendar for spending time with yourself. If you can make time for all the little extras you fit into your day, like stopping at Starbucks or picking up something at the mall, you can schedule time in your calendar for solitude. It doesn't have to be long. Any time that you can spend alone with yourself to reboot, meditate, focus, relax, create, produce, and/or think deeply is better than no time.
Privacy is not selfish even if it is within your own home.
We need space.
We need recovery time.
Close the door.
Turn off the phone.
Go for a walk by yourself.
Warmly tell your partners, family and friends that you will be available in two hours and then teach them how to honor that. Admittedly, this will not be easy.
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